Not Awesome

I’ve got to be honest. My life has not been awesome lately. Despite what you see on Instagram, my life has downright sucked over the last few months. I’ve been living in a yoga and work bubble. I wake up at 5:15am, go to yoga, go to work, stop by the grocery store, come home and go to bed. Then repeat. There have been some not-so-great experiences sprinkled into my life over the last few months as well. In August, I filed for divorce. With that came the dividing up of possessions, having to move, lots of crying and then inevitable adjustment period of trying to get used to my new normal. Not awesome.

The next month, I started my fourth and final yoga teacher training of the year. Nine weeks of practicing Bikram Yoga everyday and nine weekends filled with geeking out about yoga, memorizing dialogue, learning about anatomy and ethics, studying postures and making new yoga friends. I loved this experience, every minute of it. What was tough was balancing a full-time job while at the same time spending all of my free time memorizing dialogue. I had zero time to do anything else. Even though I love Bikram Yoga, dedicating an entire nine weeks to the practice while trying to juggle an intense, full-time job wasn’t ideal. Again, not awesome.

Then two weeks before yoga teacher training ended, my boss quit. Not only was the new increased workload looming over my co-worker and I, we had a huge event coming up in two weeks that he wasn’t sticking around for. I’m talking 300+ RSVPs and a lot of things to take care of before the event. Stress upon more stress. I freaked out. I cried at my desk. My face broke out. I questioned my role at work. I worried about how I was going to get it all done. Really not awesome.

While most of my family is heading down to San Diego today, I’m here in Seattle trying to catch my breath and putting my life back together. My divorce will be final in a couple of weeks. I’m done with yoga teacher training, but I’m still not teaching yoga. I haven’t even gone to a yoga class in over a week. My boss is long gone. The event at work turned out to be a success, but now we’re starting to work on the next big event. I’m tired. My free time is super limited. I’ve been eating my way through all of the stress and not getting enough sleep. Not exactly healthy habits of a yogi. All of this has left me super unmotivated to write about yoga on my blog or post pictures of me doing yoga on Instagram. I mean who wants to hear about how my life hasn’t been awesome lately?

So what’s a girl to do? Since it is Thanksgiving, I figured it would be a great time to put the pity party aside and think about all of the things in my life that are awesome. I have my health. “Healthy spine, healthy life,” says Bikram Choudhury. I have a VERY supportive group of family and friends who’ve been helping me get through this difficult time without letting me go off the deep end. Lots of shoulders to cry on. Lots of hugs. Lots of pep talks. Lots of solid advice. It’s takes a village, you know? I’m thankful that I have the mental mindset to be able to turn all of this around. And I will. I’ve got some big adventures planned and I can’t wait to share them all with you. For now, I need to continue to wear my big girl pants and get through this. As I always say to people on the trail that ask me as I’m coming down if they’re close to the top, “One foot in front of the other. Keep on truckin.” Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!

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